unclefather:

my ex sent me pics of another girl sucking his weiner one time because he thought it would make me mad and i wrote back “did your mom do something different with her hair?” 

Ouch, I’ll google some burn treatment centers for that one.

haaaaaaaaaaytham:

peterpayne:

According to the Internet, this is what Europeans think breakfast in America is like.

this is exactly what breakfast in america is like

Hah, that’s just a pistol. Real Americans keep an AR-15 and eat their Bacon on an American flag tablecloth.

'Murica, fuck yeah!

highkingofgondor:

screhmer:

sammichkhaleesi:

greencarnations:

renegade-chandelure:

titenoute:

zankyger:

titenoute:

I case someone want to experiment what real terror is go here it’s in english.

WHY WOULD YOU SOURCE THAT.

BECAUSE IM AN EVIL ASSHAT WIZARD THATS WHY

NOPE NOPE NO NO NO NONONONONONONON BYE

ONE TIME I WANTED TO SHOW THIS TO A FRIEND SO I JUST SEARCHED “THAT FUCKING KOREAN COMIC”AND IT WAS THE FIRST RESULT

i just screamed.

I FUCKING THREW MY LAPTOP 3 FEET INTO THE AIR!!! I dont know if i can continue reading it. fucking hell 

CURIOSITY WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME I SWEAR TO FUCK

highkingofgondor:

screhmer:

sammichkhaleesi:

greencarnations:

renegade-chandelure:

titenoute:

zankyger:

titenoute:

I case someone want to experiment what real terror is go here it’s in english.

WHY WOULD YOU SOURCE THAT.

BECAUSE IM AN EVIL ASSHAT WIZARD THATS WHY

NOPE NOPE NO NO NO NONONONONONONON BYE

ONE TIME I WANTED TO SHOW THIS TO A FRIEND SO I JUST SEARCHED “THAT FUCKING KOREAN COMIC”

AND IT WAS THE FIRST RESULT

i just screamed.

I FUCKING THREW MY LAPTOP 3 FEET INTO THE AIR!!! I dont know if i can continue reading it. fucking hell 

CURIOSITY WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME I SWEAR TO FUCK

(Source: brixyfire)

depressedcookies:

me: time for bed
stomach: LET’S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
skin: LET’S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
ears: THERE’S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
mouth: IT’S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
me: ok

(Source: acciodog)